Finding a cause

By now, if you've followed this blog much, I'm sure you've heard me mention the Bosom Buddies. Otherwise known as the gals who've been through breast cancer and encouraged me through it. Well, one of the BB, Christine, was Operations Chair of the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure last year in Roanoke. I did my small part in passing out some postcards and signed up to participate and raise funds. Wow. What an incredible event. It not only honored the survivors, but raised awareness for breast cancer. The event raised over $300,000 for breast cancer and 75% of that stays in this area.

I knew that I wanted to be more involved with Komen but I wasn't sure how. I told Christine to let me know if they could use me. So she told me of the Komen committee training this past weekend in Roanoke. There were three people there from the national Komen office to give the local affiliate pointers and suggestions and train the new committee members. It was a lot of information since I didn't know where I was going to be working in such a huge event, but it was all good to hear, it just reassured me that Komen was an excellent cause.

After two days of training, I met with Lauren, the Teams Chair. She is leaving on maternity leave at the end of August and has no one to take over for her while she's out. I wanted to find a place where I could be useful and hopefully this is it. I am now the Teams Co-Chair (I'll still be in touch with Lauren, she just doesn't want to be overwhelmed with contact from participants while she's out). My duties include: recruiting teams, team captain communication, team incentives/fundraising/competition, organizing team tailgating on race day, and team photos. Whew! I'm overwhelmed already - in a super-excited kinda way!

I'll need a sub-committee of volunteers to help me as we draw closer to April so if you are interested in any of the above, please let me know! :)

First Cancerversary and beyond

Wow, I am so behind in updating my blog. Is anyone even still out there? Hello? This past month has gone by and I really had every intention of writing. I did. But... oh, then I just didn't.

Well, July started off with my first "cancerversary" ~ the anniversary of my diagnosis. It was strange to think back that a year earlier life had been much simpler. I hadn't known the different types of breast cancer, what it meant to be triple negative... I had to work on July 2, my anniversary, so I didn't get to dwell on it too much. Honestly, that's a good thing. The thought that it's been a year since my first surgery and a month since my last surgery... wow.  But, weekend after that I celebrated with Mom and Dad, we went to see a movie and out to eat. AND I updated my phone to an android and bought a Nook!!! I'm such a techie now... HA! But I have been playing with all this fun stuff which is probably why you haven't heard from me in a while. ;)

Other updates... Work is work. It's rough. I must have some PTSD from cancer or something because I really do not handle criticism well. I feel like I do my job as well, if not better than most of the people here and then to get criticized for some of my ideas... ugh. I'm hoping I can find a new job, even if it is away from this area. If I could find one that would allow for some forward thinking and team work, that would be great.

And finally... dating. I've been on match for about a month or so. Oh lord. It's definitely interesting. I've had several guys email me. I talked to one guy for a few weeks and we were going to meet but he started emailing me WAY too much and I couldn't tell if it was a needy or a controlling thing. Either way, I cancelled. So back to square one. I don't know if I'm cut out for this! I really enjoy my days at home, just reading and relaxing. But I would like someone to travel with... *sigh* Guess I gotta get back out there!  ;)

the Single Life

When I was a Junior in High School, my guy friends said I was the Perfect Woman. I was funny, pretty, had great hair, the whole package. Even down to great hands and nails. Seriously, these are their words. Did they date me? No. They dated my friends.

Fast forward ten years. Dating was still impossible. Whether it's the fact I'm in the middle of nowhere. Or the only guys I see are the eighty year old men that come into the library every day. Or the fact that I never really understood why I was so "perfect" and yet, my friends got the guys... who knows?

Now a year later, add to that the fact that I've been through breast cancer... a fact that I think makes me a stronger person. Definitely a different person than I was. That probably doesn't make me the most appealing girl out on the market. I mean, if guys weren't ready to run before, they would be now. The blond locks are gone, leaving... me.

Cancer self-help books tell you a lot. They tell you how to tell your partner, your kids, picking your caretaker, how they can help with your needs, sex after cancer, life after cancer, having kids after cancer, etc. But seldom do they ever touch on dating. Because you are not supposed to be in your 20s when you get breast cancer. Most women are in their 60s or over already having a partner and family.

So where is all this going? Well, I took the plunge and joined match.com. I have a couple of friends that have met their husbands there. This may go somewhere or it may be that I'm destined to be a singleton with my books and my cat. But hey, there's worse things! Just know, there may be some stories coming from this adventure, hopefully good ones!

The Port report

Since my surgeon had left the Carilion NRV Hospital, I went along with having his partner do my port removal surgery. I met with Dr. Harris prior to the surgery and he explained the procedure. My fear was that there would be a chance for the lung to collapse again. He said the only risk was for bleeding or infection. This was a much more minor procedure.

I went in Friday morning for the procedure. I was told to allow 3 hours, get there at 10, surgery around 11, which would last 15-20 minutes then recovery for an hour. We got there by 10 with no food/water/coffee prior to surgery. They took me back and I got changed in the the surgical gown. Many of the nurses looked familiar. They asked about my previous procedures, and I think we all realized they had treated me before. I heard them in the hall talking about how nice I was. Well. Then I laid there until 11. No surgery. Then 11:30. Nothing. I started getting a migraine so I sent mom out to check. They said it'd be another half hour. Then noon. Let's just say I wasn't so nice any more. I was hungry, mean and had a migraine. They took me out around 12:30 Then I was in the pre-op room with a nurse flipping channels and talking on her phone to someone at home. It wouldn't have been so bad but I didn't have my glasses on so I was blind as a bat. It was almost comical.

If you haven't had surgery, first - you're blessed. Second, every person that touches you in the operating room has to come read your file and confirm what you are there for and who you are. So get used to saying, "I am so-and-so, my date of birth is such-and-such, and I am here for whatever." And allergies, and medical history. So it is a freaking long process. It was great by the time the anesthesia guy came. He gave me this wonderful happy drug. By then it was ONE O'CLOCK! I remember getting on the operating table... then someone asking if I wanted to keep the port. Heck yes! I'll show that sucker off!

It was almost 8 inches long! No wonder it punctured my lung.

Look how thick the port was! Ugh, glad I don't have to feel it under my skin anymore!

Then I was in recovery. Feeling miserable. Where's that happy juice when you need it? I don't think the surgery affected me as badly as going ALL day without food or coffee. I had a horrible migraine. I sent Dad to Starbucks (he's such a good man, and I seriously needed caffeine) and they had me eat some peanut butter and crackers. I was able to eat, drink and get up without getting woozy. So they let me go around 3:30. Seriously. We were there for almost 6 hours for a 20 minute procedure.

I guess I shouldn't complain. Things went well. I don't have another scar, they just went in through the scar that was there. It's just fresh again. I only missed one day/8 hours of work. Since that was all I could miss. It just hurt for a few days, not like when they put it in. I go back for a check-up with Dr. Harris on June 22.

Good checkups for a change

Oh, the joy of doctor's visits. At least this time they are not filled with the doom of bad news.

I had my six-weeks post radiation checkup with Dr. O. that went wonderfully. Of course, the last time I was there I had a raging fever and the chicken pox. No wonder everyone thought I looked great, I was coherent! A vast improvement. Everyone gave me a hug. My BP was low and my temp was high but a good report there, I just need to remember to use SPF 30 or higher anytime I'm in the sun. I had been out for about 15 minutes the week before and my treatment area turned red again. Dr. O. scheduled me for a mammogram in August and then I'll see her again in September.

I also saw Dr. G at Blue Ridge Cancer Care. My appointment with him went well. My bloodwork had came back with good results, which is great. I described to him the issues I've been having with my port every time they flush it... that it's not just a migraine. The fever, chills, body pain... it's too much to deal with. He agreed and said it's time for it to come out!!! Great news. It does require another surgery. Not so great. It wouldn't give blood back for the bloodwork so they had to use my arm, I'd almost forgotten what that was like! It's a little discouraging because they do have trouble accessing veins in that arm and the port was so helpful during chemo, I can see why they like to have/use them. It just won't cooperate!!!

I do have to say, it is strange going back to BRCC after chemo. I look around and see the people, especially the women receiving their treatments... having lost their hair... and I just want to hug them. I can see how strong they are becoming and how they are hiding their fear. Because that's what you do to get through it. It makes you a different, hopefully better, person.

Hospitals

Wouldn't it be great if we didn't need doctors or hospitals anymore? Take a minute and just think if everyone was healthy until their dying day. Then maybe an angel could grant you a final 24 hours; to spend with your loved ones or family, or to do whatever you've put off doing. Just so we leave this earth still healthy, not worn away from pain, disease or old age.

Then people wouldn't wait until you are on your deathbed to spend a few last days or hours with someone they once knew. Someone who is now incoherent, or painfully ill. We could come together will all those we know and enjoy our time together. Not put it off saying we could do it another day. Instead of prioritizing things like work, which does not take care of us when we are ill. No matter how much sweat or time we sacrifice to it.

I know this may sound naive. And some may say the bad times make us appreciate the good. And they probably do. For a time.

I've spent a lot of time in hospitals this year. Usually as the patient. Yesterday I was there for my dad to have a heart catherization done to check for blockages. It was much needed since he had been having chest pains for a while. We got up at 4am to be in Roanoke by 6am. I was a wreck. I rambled the entire drive down there. Anyone who knows me knows that on a normal day I don't talk to anyone before 9 or 10am. Then once they checked Dad in, I just sobbed until they took him back. They did a heart cath on him several years ago and his heart stopped, they had to shock him. It took a lot of convincing to get him to come back and have this done.

After the year we had I just couldn't take being in the hospital and waiting again. I couldn't read. I just sat there or paced the room. Mom is amazing. She's been through this with Dad, me, Grandma and Granny. Just in the past year or two. The fact that she has been through this with all of us and is so calm is a blessing.

Dad made it through fine. One of his main arteries (lateral?) was 90% blocked so they put a stent in to open it up. They showed us the before and after pictures. It was almost completely pinched off! Hopefully he'll recover well since he doesn't do good staying in the house.

Always a Bridesmaid...

One of my best friends got engaged over Christmas. She asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. At the time I had just had my fifth round of chemo and was as bald as I could be. Of course I still said yes. I was ecstatic for her!

Lynn and I have been friends from our first week of college at New River Community College. I had Biology with her and her sisters. You can say it was God, fate, destiny or whatever, that we become friends... I thought they looked familiar and I just went up and started talking to them. And, well, we really haven't stopped talking in the past ten years. All the other sisters have been married for a while now; so Lynn and I were the last of the single girls. And our last relationships kind of mirrored each other in duration and drama. We bonded over that in the past few years with lots of girls nights.

The Logans: Lauralee, Lynn, Amanda

Then Lynn runs off to Alaska to visit friends last summer and meets the love of her life. Who knew? Apparently I need to visit Alaska! But fast forward a bit...

the Mr. & Mrs. - Ben and Lynn

The wedding weekend was amazing. On Thursday, we had a bridesmaid luncheon with all the girls involved in the wedding and then went to dinner and bowling that night. Friday was the rehearsal which was a hoot, getting all the guys involved. The dinner was great, at the Homeplace and there were some touching speeches made from everyone involved. The wedding... wow. Ben's father did the majority of the service and did an amazing job. They honored their family and friends, AND God in the service. In a way I've never heard or seen done. I don't normally cry at weddings, but I have to admit that tears were streaming down my face as we walked out. Then I just busted out sobbing. Right before we did pictures. Haha. I don't know if it was the service or the thought of Lynn moving to Alaska but it really did me in. But it was an amazing wedding and I was honored to be a part of it.

Me!