Pain...

Ever since I was young I suffered from severe headaches. Not until I was in college did I actually admit the severity of the migraines, go to a neurologist and try to manage them with medication and other techniques. I remember once when I was still quite young, a relative laughed at me and told me I was too young to know what pain like that was.

Nowadays it seems like not a day goes by that I don’t have a headache, backache, or some-kinda-ache…  I wish that I could go a week without pain (and without my meds!).  I would be the happiest, most ecstatic girl you have ever seen! I would be hugging everyone in sight… I could probably fly to the moon and back on my own energy. Seriously.

Right now I’m dealing with severe back pain, the doctor said it’s probably muscle spasms. Either from favoring my upper body during surgeries and treatments and not using those muscles for a while, now they are rebelling against me or for some other random reasons (stress? Hormones? Etc?). [Side note - it has been almost a year of this back pain and it hasn't gotten any better, just worse... ]

One would think that as a librarian I wouldn’t have to worry about something like that but especially last week and this week, lifting banana boxes full of 75 or more books is strenuous. OTC pain pills don’t cut it, and I have to fall back on stronger stuff…  I have the option of going for an MRI but so far the doctors have just left that as an option for me. I want someone to say, “YES! I understand! Here, THIS is what is causing it and THIS is how we can fix it!” Needless to say, I have not gotten those types of results.

So, I will be extraordinarily grateful for my good days. I take advantage of doctor recommended massages, though the results do not last as long as I would have hoped. And remember to feel empathy for those who may be struggling with pain or their own battles, instead of patronizing what they are going through.